Stars, I Don't Understand You.

I've recently rediscovered my love of Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezny. He's a frous-frous hippy artfart, and I love him. Whether you quite believe in astrology or not, his horoscopes and writings always make me happy and make me feel nicer and more peaceful.

This week's horoscope is a little confusing to me, though, so I'm turning to you guys for help. Please put your interpretation in my comments. I will then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you all suggest, as you're a bunch of assholes. My heart is so full of love for you guys! I'm open to you, and to the universe.

I won't protest if you resort to some outrageous showmanship to boost your cause, Cancerian. I won't judge you too harshly if you try to walk the fine line between creative storytelling and over-the-top BS. Just make sure that you're always motivated more by fun and idealism than by self-aggrandizedment. It's time to use all your tricks and call on all the favors you're owed as you sell your self without selling your soul.

Any thoughts? I'm thinking this is good advice to apply to my job hunt.

Hey You, I Know You

Mad props to whoever can finish my title properly.

This weekend marks the end of the semester for me. I took Psychology 101 this time around, and I now feel qualified to fix all your heads. But as I must adhere to the credo "Physician, heal thyself", I'll talk about me first.

It turns out that I probably have a lack of norepinephrine, and GABA. This would account for my loonytoonyness. I've been taking SAM-e, but after reading this, I think I may stop. I'm not positive if I'm noticing much of a difference anyway. I've been a little less crazy and sad, but that may be due to monthly cycling.

I am a depressive character (if you click no other link in this post, click that one. It's me to a T). I seem to be orally fixated, possibly due to lack of a father attachment. I am surprised to find that I am a defined pessimist, because when things go wrong, I attribute them to forces beyond my control, I expect them to happen again, and I think they reflect my whole life. I do not have an internal locus of control. I do not possess a strong sense of self-efficacy.

The good part about reading all of this, is that I am reading about early development issues, and it's given me some new ways to deal with Robb when he's being difficult, and some new ways for me to deal with myself when he's being difficult. I don't want to raise no crazy!

Then again, who can say what will happen? Eli had a loony childhood, and he's the nicest, most confident, stable person I've ever met. How he puts up with me, I'll never know, but I certainly needed someone like that.

Monday is the last day to turn everything in (and get the 10 extra credit points that I so desperately need). I'm right on the edge between an A and a B, so it'll be nailbiting time until I finish that last test.

I'd ask you all to wish me luck, but as I'm working on my locus of control, I'll just say it's up to me and leave it at that.

There's Thirty, and Then There's Thirty

The Full House reruns on Nick at Night are back in first season. Tonight's episode is Danny's thirtieth birthday.

I am thirty years old.

Danny will always look older to me, because when I first watched this I was 13, seeing this ancient thirty year old guy. But now I'm looking at him at my age, and he still seems like an old fart. I even had my kid at the same age that he had his first, but I don't think I look like that. I hope.

So here's to me, not looking thirty. I hope.

OOOOOOH MY GOD!

I just realized, that in no time at all, I'll be living with the Mister! I've been on and on about the house, but what about the fact that I'll get to look at this sweet little face every day?



Here's him doing "sexy":



I love me some Shmee.

Safeway Guy, You Don't Know Me!

I just ran up to the grocery store to grab a couple things (blank videotape, thank you card, and some soda). The 2 liters were on sale 4 for $5.00, so I grabbed 4. At the checkout stand, the 20somethingish cashier (who knows me, I've been shopping there for almost 4 years) says, "movie night?".

It seemed easier to say "yeah", than to say "No, not exactly. See, my friend is in town, so we're going to go have dinner with another friend, then we're going to come home and have a HOT! GAY! SEX! marathon with Queer as Folk. Only thing is, we're finally going to be caught up to the episodes Showtime is running tonight, so I'm going to tape those episodes for my viewing pleasure tomorrow. And tomorrow night, if you know what I mean" *wink*

Anyway, since he now thinks I'll be sitting home alone tonight drowning my sorrows in 8 liters of Coke, he says, "Oh no, you can't do that, it's Saturday, it's drinking night!"

At this point, I'm totally in a lie, and rather than just say "I know", I said, "well I was out last night". This is true. My boss invited me to join him, a client, and two other employees for dinner. I had two vodka and sodas, and was up til almost 11pm, if you can believe it.

Then the Safeway guy told me, "Yeah, I go out everynight, but I suppose someday I'll have to stop, too".

Safeway guy thinks I'm old.

To cheer me up, here's Gale Harold:



To cheer me up even more, here's Gale Harold making out with another guy:

O Cruel Mother Nature, What Hast Thou Done?

This is my third spring at my townhome. I really love my house, and will be sad to leave it. Other than my parents' old house, this is the only one that I've ever felt so good in. I'm comforted by the fact that our new house makes me feel just as nice.

One of the things I like about it is that it's quiet, and I can open my doors and hear all the birds. I really adore birds and the little noises they make, from chirpy sparrows to a nice dove coo. For the past 2 springs, I've had a pretty loud bird make her house right outside the sliding glass door in my bedroom. She would start up pretty early, maybe around 5, and it never bothered me. When she came back last spring, I was very happy. Eli told me what it was, but I forget. I want to say a nightingale, or maybe a wren.

Anyway, she's not here this year, and I'm a little sad.

Speaking of dead birds, my cat Emo is a killing machine. One of the reasons I stopped letting him outside was that he brought a bird back every time, without fail. I also found out that there were coyotes closer than I thought, but one too many times of cleaning up a bird strewn across my living room was a big reason he became an indoor cat. So now I have a security screen door on my front door. For some reason it's hung a little high, so that there's about a 2 inch gap at the bottom. Last weekend, I was in the kitchen, and heard a *slam* on the screen, and a horrid squawking. I ran out just in time to see Emo run into my room with a sparrow in his mouth. He had managed to sneak a paw under the gap, and get a bird. As angry as I was, I have to say, that takes talent.

I haven't decided yet if I'll let him out at the new house. Nomi, the baby girl, has never been outside at all, so I just don't know. They're my babies!

One last side note. Someone at Something Awful was kind enough to fix my martini glasses. He swears he's not a stalker, but time will tell, eh? To him I say "Goony goon goon, goon you goony much. Lolz 5 golden manbabies Good Sir".