I'm Weak, So Sue Me

I bought a coconut cream pie last night. It was delicious. I did make up for it with 40 extra situps and 10 extra pushups, though, so there.

For all my 3 readers (probably only 2, really, I think Kav left the blog behind again? Oh but maybe Chris is out there reading. We'll call it 3), I will supposedly have internet access at home for good this evening, so I will return to bringing you my witty observations and stories. Go ahead, hold your breath.

I will say this for now, though: I am now living in the coolest house ever, and am possibly willing to continue to rent it for the rest of my life, just to live in it.

Inspiration Strikes

Who doesn't love to go fishing? Well maybe some of you don't. Maybe some of you haven't even heard of it. So let me break it down for you:

"Fishing" is what we call it when you go hunting for fish. The most common method involves putting a hook on the end of a very thin, strong wire (handily known as "fishing line"). One puts something that is appetizing to fish on this hook, lowers the hook into the water and patiently waits for an unsuspecting fish to come looking for a tasty snack.

While of course the good majority of the fish you catch should be edible, even if they're not, hey, fishing's fun! You get to sit on a boat, drink beer and trick fish.

There are other ways to fish, if you choose. You can use a large net, and when lots of fish have swam into it, you can remove your net from the water and HEY! Now you have lots of fish!

You can use a spear, and stab the fish, but I'm guessing this method is hard. I may be smart enough to trick a fish by putting a delicious meal on a hook, but being quicker than a fish and lampooning it sounds beyond me.

Most interesting to me, and likely the most involved, you can use a bird that normally catches fish on it's own, but put a metal ring around its neck and then retrieve the fish from its mouth. I don't even want to think about where I could get a bird like that around here.

I remember one time, fishing with my stepdad, and he made me clean and gut the catfish. Boy, did that suck balls. Another time, we were at the lake, and I was wandering the shore. Little 5 year old me spied a wealth of fish, just hanging out on a string by the water. Grabbing it, excited to take this treasure to my parents, I was chastised by a fairly mean man who apparently had already laid claim to this bounty. Whatever, dude, I don't remember seeing your name on them!

I am lucky enough to live across the street from a canal running through town, where fish can be found. I think that I am going to fashion a spear, and get me some dinner the honest way. No reason I can't keep my eyes open for a bird that likes to catch fish while I'm out there.

Maddening

Simply maddening.

Name all 50 states in 10 minutes

Before you ask, no, I won't tell you how many I got.

Watch Out!

For that tree!

I Broke Down

I bought a cheesecake today.

It made me wish I lived with The Golden Girls, so I could have cheesecake with my sassy gal-pals any time of the day.

Check Your Local Venues

Turns out I am a pretty good guitar (hero) player. Before today, I'd never even touched a guitar (hero). But in just one afternoon, I taught myself how to play the guitar (hero) and started up a band.

We're called The Hashbrowns, and as you must have guessed by now, I play lead guitar (hero). We only do covers right now, and some of our specialties are Heart Shaped Box, Message in a Bottle, and Mother. We're pretty tight, I know how to use the whammy bar and everything. I'll admit, at first I had a little trouble keeping the red and green buttons straight, but now I'm even ready to try using the blue button.

So, anyway, just let me know if you think you might make it to the show, and I'll put you on the list at the door.