I'm Trying

I knowI'm a big pussy for starting up the blog again and already stopping, so here I go. It feels a little weird to be posting mundane shit when my whole life is up in the air, I guess.

But.

I may be buying a house as early as this weekend. The thought makes me go crazy, my very own house all for me, by me. Here are some things I am excited about:

• My own pink sheets on my own girl bed in my own girl room, sheets and blanket perfectly tucked in so that I may lay flat as a pancake under them.
• Waking up on Saturday mornings and watching 90210 in bed.
• Spending Saturday afternoons with all the windows open, music loud while I do whatever I want.
• An awesome back patio covered in fauna (that I will kill the first week, probably) and cool shit.
• A roman tub that I will take leisurely soaks in late at night after the kid's in bed.
• Stairs.
• Going out to meet friends for Saturday lunches/movies, what-have-yous and coming home to my same house, just like I left it.

Now, to be fair, here are some things I'm scared shitless about:

• Having a stiff neck and no one to rub it.
• Being bored on a Saturday afternoon and no one to talk to.
• Being too tired to make dinner and no one to take over.
• Needing to fix something that I don't know how to fix.
• Bugs.
• Waking up on a Saturday morning and nobody to eat breakfast with.
• Running out of wine in the bath tub and no one to refill me.
• Being a sad bitter lonely old lady living in Kav's retirement home.