Yeah, MAKE Him Cram it Up His Ass!
The boy has his little friends in our complex that he plays with. Brian and Ivan live directly next door to us. They're 11 and 13, respectively, although Brian towers over all the other kids, including his older brother Ivan. Brian has sent Robb home crying a couple times, but more often than not, he's very protective of Robbie and takes care of him very nicely. Stefan is the other kid in the group. He's 7, and lives down at the end of our section. His parents came here from Bosnia, and they have very thick accents although he does not. Stefan's got a mean streak, which I now attribute to his father. When Stefan gets mad, he doesn't just get pissy, he gets mean. He's pretty tough, for a little guy. He once managed to get Robbie on the ground, and swung his razor scooter at his head. Robb managed to roll away, and I still shudder to think of the damage that could have done.
Now that you have the necessary backup, on to the immensely humorous events that took place this weekend.
Saturday, Robb went over to Stefan's to play, as Brian and Ivan were not home. He came back home pretty shortly thereafter, because they had a fight. Turns out there is some girl visiting over there who's around 11 or 12. She was playing video games while Stefan and Robbie played. After repeatedly asking them to keep it down and no response, she turned and clocked Robb, knocking his head into the (brick) wall. He didn't say anything, he just got up and came home. After I got him calmed down, he decided to go back. When he got there, Stefan began taunting him, calling him a shithead and peepeehead. Where were his parents while he was standing at the front door calling my kid a shithead? Dunno.
So Robb came home and told Eli and I all about it. We were talking to him about how it's no big deal, Stefan's a little shit anyway, so who cares what he says? I'm not sure who said it first, or why, but someone suggested to just tell Stefan to cram it up his ass. We thought that was funny, and I said "you know what, you can tell him that, that's fine with me".
Oops.
Sunday, he went out to play. They were playing outside, all of the boys. Eli and I were sitting at my breakfast nook, which is right under a nice huge window in the front of the house. I looked up in time to see Robbie run by and stop, then Stefan and a girl running up to join. "How nice", I thought. Then they descended on him. Robbie sort of threw them both off in a nice dramatic "RRAAAAAWR" kind of move, and whirled around and punched the girl really hard on the back of her shoulder as she was moving away. I jumped up and ran to the door, and by the time I got out there Brian and Ivan were seperating them. Robb and Brian came in to tell me the story.
Apparently, when Stefan and the girl came out to join all the boys, they immediately started giving Robb shit. He held his tongue for a few moments, then finally lost it and yelled (you guessed it) "SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!". It quickly dissolved into "why don't you make me shove it up my ass", and "why don't you make me make you shove it up your ass", ad infinitum. Eventually the girl got tired of it and hit Robbie, at which point he ran towards our house (he later told me this was so I could witness her hitting him, so that I wouldn't be mad at him). I sort of felt like I should be mad about the incident, but.... I just wasn't. I don't think he did anything wrong. The 2 kids were being shitty, he said what we told him to say, and when they hit him he hit back. Brian and Ivan both confirmed his story, and that's good enough for me.
(Stick with me, I'm almost done).
The boys reported back that Stefan and Bitch had gone back into his house, so Robb decided to go back out to play. In an extremely unbright move, the 3 of them decided to take their dog for a walk... right by Stefan's house. When they walked by, the door flew open, and Stefan's dad yelled at Robb to come here. Robb did, and the guy started yelling at him for hitting a little kid and a girl for no reason. Robb tried to explain, and the guy yelled "There's no excuse for that! Get the fuck out of here!" and slammed the door in his face. As they walked away (Robb in hysterics), the mom yelled out of the window "You had no reason to hit Stefan!"
I was super pissed, and since I had Eli with me, I felt brave enough to go face the dad and tell him he's an asshole and that his darlings were trying to beat the shit out of mine. But I decided it wasn't going to do any good, he wasn't going to listen to me, and if Stefan was going to continue to grow up being a shit and lying about it, oh well, not my problem.
So, Robb is never allowed in that house again, even if (when) he and Stefan make amends. Bosnian jerks.
Now that you have the necessary backup, on to the immensely humorous events that took place this weekend.
Saturday, Robb went over to Stefan's to play, as Brian and Ivan were not home. He came back home pretty shortly thereafter, because they had a fight. Turns out there is some girl visiting over there who's around 11 or 12. She was playing video games while Stefan and Robbie played. After repeatedly asking them to keep it down and no response, she turned and clocked Robb, knocking his head into the (brick) wall. He didn't say anything, he just got up and came home. After I got him calmed down, he decided to go back. When he got there, Stefan began taunting him, calling him a shithead and peepeehead. Where were his parents while he was standing at the front door calling my kid a shithead? Dunno.
So Robb came home and told Eli and I all about it. We were talking to him about how it's no big deal, Stefan's a little shit anyway, so who cares what he says? I'm not sure who said it first, or why, but someone suggested to just tell Stefan to cram it up his ass. We thought that was funny, and I said "you know what, you can tell him that, that's fine with me".
Oops.
Sunday, he went out to play. They were playing outside, all of the boys. Eli and I were sitting at my breakfast nook, which is right under a nice huge window in the front of the house. I looked up in time to see Robbie run by and stop, then Stefan and a girl running up to join. "How nice", I thought. Then they descended on him. Robbie sort of threw them both off in a nice dramatic "RRAAAAAWR" kind of move, and whirled around and punched the girl really hard on the back of her shoulder as she was moving away. I jumped up and ran to the door, and by the time I got out there Brian and Ivan were seperating them. Robb and Brian came in to tell me the story.
Apparently, when Stefan and the girl came out to join all the boys, they immediately started giving Robb shit. He held his tongue for a few moments, then finally lost it and yelled (you guessed it) "SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!". It quickly dissolved into "why don't you make me shove it up my ass", and "why don't you make me make you shove it up your ass", ad infinitum. Eventually the girl got tired of it and hit Robbie, at which point he ran towards our house (he later told me this was so I could witness her hitting him, so that I wouldn't be mad at him). I sort of felt like I should be mad about the incident, but.... I just wasn't. I don't think he did anything wrong. The 2 kids were being shitty, he said what we told him to say, and when they hit him he hit back. Brian and Ivan both confirmed his story, and that's good enough for me.
(Stick with me, I'm almost done).
The boys reported back that Stefan and Bitch had gone back into his house, so Robb decided to go back out to play. In an extremely unbright move, the 3 of them decided to take their dog for a walk... right by Stefan's house. When they walked by, the door flew open, and Stefan's dad yelled at Robb to come here. Robb did, and the guy started yelling at him for hitting a little kid and a girl for no reason. Robb tried to explain, and the guy yelled "There's no excuse for that! Get the fuck out of here!" and slammed the door in his face. As they walked away (Robb in hysterics), the mom yelled out of the window "You had no reason to hit Stefan!"
I was super pissed, and since I had Eli with me, I felt brave enough to go face the dad and tell him he's an asshole and that his darlings were trying to beat the shit out of mine. But I decided it wasn't going to do any good, he wasn't going to listen to me, and if Stefan was going to continue to grow up being a shit and lying about it, oh well, not my problem.
So, Robb is never allowed in that house again, even if (when) he and Stefan make amends. Bosnian jerks.
posted by The Noillyprat Cat @ 11:31 AM
2 Comments:
I miss that drama...Once some girl pushed me down a flight of marble stairs when I was 10. That shit hurt and I busted my head open. Then she lied to my parents and told them I tripped on my own so my folks gave me no sympathy at the time. Some older kid I knew told me to get revenge by pouring sugar in her dad's car's gas tank.
Needless to say I fucked up his Mercury Topaz. Revenge was sweet.
You got pwned by a girl!
Wait, so did my kid.
I would pass along the sugar in the tank suggestion, but we live in townhomes, with a carport right in front of the window, so it's hard to do anything like that in secret.
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