Big Round Butt, Here I Come!
Since this whole debacle started in late January, I have lost over 20 pounds. Most of this is from purely just not eating. I know this is bad, I know that if I just start packing food away again it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks. But anyway, now that I don't have a pot belly anymore, I was thinking I should get some good form to my bones. I've been doing situps like mad (and by "like mad", I mean for about 3 days in a row, then forgetting for a couple weeks, then doing it again), but what I really want is a nice big round firm butt.
I've never had much of an ass to speak of, and I know this. It's been on my mind lately, but it came to a head Saturday night. My friend Beth was over, waiting for me to pick something to wear. After I finally settled on some jeans, she said, "Holy shit, Jacqui, you have NO ASS!" I agreed that this was true, but she continued, "no, I mean really, not even like you just have a little ass, you have NO ASS".
That's it, that is enough! I vaguely remember an episode of Laverne and Shirley when Shirley got a fake butt to wear under her clothes, but I don't think that's the direction I want to go in. What to do? Even when I was dancing and super toned, I had a small butt. Dancers don't particularly want large asses, and the exercises that you do in ballet and other disciplines simply doesn't do that. I know lunges are a good place to start, but my knees aren't in top shape and give out on me a lot, so that's kind of hard. I do the occasional set of leg lifts here and there, but don't feel like I'm really feeling it where I want it.
But today, I found a new idea: while driving home, I sort of shifted and flexed up and I happened to notice where I felt it. "Hey", I thought to myself, "I'm on to something here". So the rest of the way home, I flexed, and flexed, and flexed. I did stop when a big truck came to a stop next to me, lest they think I was some weirdo getting my jollies in traffic as it was clearly visible that I had some pelvic thrusting action going on. I think this may be a brilliant exercise routine. I did it pretty much nonstop for just under an hour, and (here's something I never anticipated typing here) frankly, my ass is fucking exhausted.
Keep a close watch on my bum for updates.
I've never had much of an ass to speak of, and I know this. It's been on my mind lately, but it came to a head Saturday night. My friend Beth was over, waiting for me to pick something to wear. After I finally settled on some jeans, she said, "Holy shit, Jacqui, you have NO ASS!" I agreed that this was true, but she continued, "no, I mean really, not even like you just have a little ass, you have NO ASS".
That's it, that is enough! I vaguely remember an episode of Laverne and Shirley when Shirley got a fake butt to wear under her clothes, but I don't think that's the direction I want to go in. What to do? Even when I was dancing and super toned, I had a small butt. Dancers don't particularly want large asses, and the exercises that you do in ballet and other disciplines simply doesn't do that. I know lunges are a good place to start, but my knees aren't in top shape and give out on me a lot, so that's kind of hard. I do the occasional set of leg lifts here and there, but don't feel like I'm really feeling it where I want it.
But today, I found a new idea: while driving home, I sort of shifted and flexed up and I happened to notice where I felt it. "Hey", I thought to myself, "I'm on to something here". So the rest of the way home, I flexed, and flexed, and flexed. I did stop when a big truck came to a stop next to me, lest they think I was some weirdo getting my jollies in traffic as it was clearly visible that I had some pelvic thrusting action going on. I think this may be a brilliant exercise routine. I did it pretty much nonstop for just under an hour, and (here's something I never anticipated typing here) frankly, my ass is fucking exhausted.
Keep a close watch on my bum for updates.
posted by The Noillyprat Cat @ 6:03 PM
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